In practicing Family Law for approximately 40 years, I have found it extremely helpful from the very first intake phone call to attempt to ascertain which of the parties is the 'Victim Spouse'.
First of all, my definition of a 'Victim Spouse' is that spouse that does NOT desire the separation. I find that there are some Family Law Matters where both spouses equally desire termination; however, this is the exception rather than the rule.
The importance of identifying the victim spouse cannot be over-emphasized by reason of the fact that the spouse who desires the separation generally will inquire of the attorney or his secretary how much are the fees; how quickly can the matter be resolved; and what are the probable results. The victim spouse, on the other hand, simply wants to whine, complain, and do everything possible to interfere and sabotage any rational attempt to bring the matter to a constructive resolution.
By way of example, he or she will do everything possible to prevent the sale of the family residence (irrespective of how necessary financially that may be) because the residence is that spouse's psychiatric 'nest' and to sell the house is an objective manifestation of the fact that the marriage is over!
Often times, the victim spouse is not only emotionally out of control, but will frequently change counsel, strike out at the Courts, and ultimately sue his or her own attorney for alleged malpractice at worst, and at best, not pay the fees.
By reason of the foregoing, it is imperative to identify the victim spouse and ascertain whether or not your firm should even represent him or her. If you are persuaded to take the case (i.e. a substantial retainer is a good motivation) I would insist that that spouse immediately seek counseling from a mental health professional to separate him or her from the emotional divorce.
